i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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