this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
