we have officially lost it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
