office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Randomize
