Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
