I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
