What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
