It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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