Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have fence marks all over my body
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
