belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
