Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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