hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
