walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
