You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
