She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
