i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
