Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
