I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
