i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
