dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
