He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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