Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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