I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize