But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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