Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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