They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
