She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My pussy is not your playground.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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