I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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