there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How does it feel to date your dad?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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