I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
