A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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