I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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