If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
