Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
