You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
