afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
