My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
