i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
