I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
