Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
