the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
