I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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