By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
