Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Randomize
