Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
