Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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