the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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