yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
operation harelip BJ is a go
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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