I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
