I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
