Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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