Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
