I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
