She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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