I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
