What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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