i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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