I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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