OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
