i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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