Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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