She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dick very happy bro
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
