oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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