just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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