i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
